Knack

When I was about eight years old I remember riding home from a trip to my grandmother's when I got it into my head that I would be a British actor when I grew up. It's safe to say that I have made no headway to attaining that dream, a large part of this failing stemming from the very annoying reality that I am in fact, not British. I have, however, picked up a knack for impersonating accents, which has proven to be good for absolutely nothing other than entertaining drunk people. Such seems to be the story of my life up to this point; a never ending list of goals resulting in a never ending list of knacks that serve as nothing more than interesting anecdotes on file to be whipped out at a moment's notice during idle conversation.

Unfortunately I suffer from what could be considered a disinterest in most social situations and absolutely despise idle conversation.

Taking these factors into account, my knacks become nothing more than lingering reminders of my failures and wasted time. I can draw well enough to impress those with no skill, but not well enough to garner respect from those with a modicum of talent, or I can discuss in depth the military strategies of the ancient Greeks. I am host to a surfeit of other skills and facts similar in their diversity and impracticality. One could refer to me as the proverbial "jack of all trades." Such a title has been applied to me once or twice, and while it sounds nifty and makes me seem capable and ready for anything, it serves to do nothing more than highlight my lack of intense skill at any given task.

This is of course a criticism I place on myself, being at an age where one can't help but assess their life and the choices they have made. This self examination has been a source of extreme discontent lately, pouring self loathing over myself like rednecks pour ranch dressing over their "salad" at a cheap buffet. If you have never seen rednecks at a cheap buffet, well, you owe it to yourself if for nothing other than the pure anthropological observations and insight one may glean into the nature of human beings and food.

But I digress.

It's about time I actually did something with all of the knowledge and skills I have so greedily amassed.